What Would Oprah Do?

Can we please cut the damn binary of woman as the body and man as the mind?---i.e. "Think like a man. Act like a lady?.

Why perform like a woman on the outside and think like the "innovative" and "rational" man in your mind? 
Why is rational, innovation, logical, technological and intelligence all masculine traits?

Why is it that the performance of manners, etiquette, positivity, acceptance and sensitivity all applauded and awarded and done the best by women? ... It's not. 

It's done by right-minded people who have a damn sense. Women are innovative and logical and rational. But to certain men, we are not? 

Perhaps we aren't rational and logical to those SPECIFIC men who help create children and easily walk away? Perhaps we're not intelligent because we raise our fatherless sons and daughters alone, endure the infidelity, the abuse and sexual degradation? The victim blaming?

Oprah tells women do act and think like a woman---an intelligent, rational, innovative, sensitive, positive, inclusive woman. Some of you might think that she is blaming women for enabling men's maladaptive and frankly, "fuck up" sort of behaviour. However, she's not. She's not blaming women for men's behaviours, but encouraging a stand against it. Don't let them do what they do.  

She speaks of compromise and individuality. A man is not an accessory, but he is not the 
entire relationship either.

There are good men out there... although you may think it's rare. But wouldn't you rather spend your time on that good man WHILE be sure of your own individuality than to waste it on some fuck up who doesn't know who he is?



Read on.

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If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. 
If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay. Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.

Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be. Slower is better. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy. If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends". A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.

Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is. Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better. The only person you can control in a relationship is you. Avoid men who have a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently? Always have your own set of friends separate from his. Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up. Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.

You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within. Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are. Even if he has has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.

Never let a man define who you are. Never borrow someone else's man. If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you. A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you. All men are NOT dogs.

You should not be the one doing all the bending... Compromise is two way street. You need time to heal between relationships. There is nothing cute about baggage... Deal with your issues before pursuing a new
relationship. You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you. A relationship consists of two WHOLE
individuals. Look for someone complimentary...
not supplementary.

Dating is fun... Even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right. Make him miss you sometimes... When a man always know where you are, and you're always readily available to him ~ he takes it for granted. Never move into his mother's house. Never co-sign for a man. Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need. Keep him in your radar but get to know others.

Scared of being alone is what makes a lot of women stay in relationships that are abusive or hurtful: Dr. Phil says... You should know that: You're the best thing that could ever happen to anyone and if a man mistreats you, he'll miss out on a good thing. If he was attracted to you in the 1st place, just know that he's not the only one. They're all watching you, so you have a lot of choices. Make the right one. Ladies take care of your own hearts... ❤